


where souls touch

by remi_wolf



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Alternate Universe - His Dark Materials Fusion, Assassination Attempt(s), Character Study, Claude von Riegan is Called Khalid, Culture Shock, Daemon Separation, Daemon Touching, Daemons, Discussions of Xenophobia, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Post-Golden Deer Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Same-Sex Daemons, Slow Burn, Standard Claude Experiences, discussions of racism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29052213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remi_wolf/pseuds/remi_wolf
Summary: The desert is long, and hot, and Claude knows that he must make his way through it in order to return to hisdaemon'sside. After years of tutoring and training in Almyra, followed by his years in Fódlan through the Officer's Academy and then the war, he is finally ready to take his place as King of Almyra. In this final ordeal before he is allowed to be coronated, though, he must first wade through the memories of everything and everyone he left behind, including his unfinished business with Lorenz.
Relationships: Lorenz Hellman Gloucester/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36
Collections: The Three Houses AU Bang





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to my fic for the Fire Emblem AU Big Bang! It has been quite the journey to get to this point, and I hope that everyone ends up enjoying this fic. I just wanted to give a few comments before we properly started off the fic. 1. Thank you to the mods for running such a fun event, it's been really interesting to see the event unfold and everyone's fics come out of this whole journey. 2. Thank you to my amazing beta reader, neverwere, they've given me such amazing criticism and suggestions and this fic wouldn't be half as good without all of the nit-picking that they've done. 3. Thank you to my artist, @endlydraws/@Gomennasatan (on twitter), whose piece is amazing and I look forward to showing everyone in the chapter that it's illustrating.
> 
> Some notes before we begin, also! I'm using Khalid for Claude's name throughout. His _daemon's_ name is Shirin, though her alias in Fódlan is Sira. The term for _daemon_ in Almyran is instead _ravaan_ , which is actually a Farsi word! From the translation I received, it's the part of the human soul that will "depart upon the moment of death and return to its creator and source," which I thought was remarkably fitting for a daemon. 
> 
> And...I think that's it! Hopefully you enjoy this first chapter, and all the other chapters to come!

Sand crunched underneath his feet. Or, what lingered of sand and led towards the sharp shards of shale as he picked his way through the desolate landscape. He hadn’t been there long, and the loneliness hadn’t sunk in quite yet. His chest hurt, yes, and a deep pain throbbed in the back of his head, but the fact that his  _ ravaan  _ was nearly a mile behind him hadn’t entirely set in. He hadn’t been walking for an hour. It was fine. He was fine. 

Khalid took a deep breath, looking up at the sky for a moment. Of course the sky was clear. There wasn’t anything around, no clouds to give him a break from the sun, and nothing other than the rocky canyons scarring the landscape to distract him from the swirling thoughts in his head. He didn’t want to think about the past, though. The past hurt, and he didn’t want to be subjected to that while alone in the desert without half his soul. However, not thinking had always been his weak point, and he closed his eyes as he resumed his travels. His thoughts couldn’t help but drift there. Perhaps that was the point of all of this, to reflect and acknowledge what had happened to lead to this point.

But he was in the middle of his ordeal, now. He needed to travel through the canyon and the desert to where his family and Shirin would be waiting, and then he would be king. What would his childhood self think if he knew that he was doing this at long last? Nearly twenty years after he realized who his father was, who he was to Almyra, he was finally taking his place as king.

* * *

“Khalid, come here, please. Baba and I want to talk to you about something very important.”

Khalid looked up from where Shirin was trying to fight with a cricket, spotted cat fur puffed up so she looked twice her usual size, and he pulled her close to walk over to his parents. Eyes wide, Shirin crawled out of his hands to curl up next to Maman and Baba’s  _ ravaans _ , nosing against them and mirroring his Maman’s stag as a small doe, while the three of them sat close together. 

“You know your Baba’s a very important person, Khalid?”

He nodded quickly, and he grinned over at his Baba before returning his attention to his Maman. “Baba’s the king, right? He’s real important and everyone’s gotta listen to him.” He shifted where he was sitting, bouncing as he waited for his mother to tell him he was right, and tell him what a clever little boy he was.

She smiled, though Khalid could almost see something hidden in that smile. She didn’t seem to be quite as happy as she usually was, but she still tapped his nose and nodded. Khalid giggled at the motion, and at the way his Maman’s stag  _ ravaan  _ nuzzled up against Shirin’s doe nose. “You’re so smart. So, so smart.”

“Too smart for his own good, I’d say,” Baba said, and Khalid grinned his gap-toothed grin up at him. There was a smile on his Baba’s face, though, especially as he continued speaking. “Do you know what that makes you, if I’m the king?”

Khalid frowned for a moment, chewing his lip, before looking around the courtyard, and the plants that lined the edges of the comfortable space. He looked out further, and saw the servants quietly scurrying around the open hallways with their  _ ravaans  _ following close behind in their muted colors in such contrast to the bright tiles lining the walls of the corridors. Even at such a young age, he could see the differences that laid between his life and theirs. “I’m the prince, right? I get to be king next.”

His mother had a weird look on her face, and her  _ ravaan  _ kept nosing and nibbling at Shirin’s head, his antlers bumping against Shirin’s head. Eventually, Shirin moved to curl up as a snake against the side of his Baba’s cobra  _ ravaan _ , scale-to-scale. Khalid curled in tighter, frowning up at his Maman. She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose before she settled down next to Khalid, wrapping her arms tight around him. 

“Do you know who I am?”

Khalid frowned, lip sticking out as he pouted and tried to think of the answer that she wanted. He couldn’t think of anything though, considering she was his Maman, and his Baba loved her, but he had a feeling that wasn’t what she wanted to hear, even if that was the only thing he could think of. After he knew he was taking too long, though, he finally piped up again. “You’re Maman.”

Baba laughed softly before settling down on the other side of Khalid, messing up his hair gently. “Your Maman is from Fódlan, and she’s very important there. Maybe you’ll follow in her father’s footsteps and lead them to amazing things, or maybe you’ll stay here and follow mine. But...your Maman and I want to tell you something important because of this.”

“Do we—”

“We need to tell him.”

“Tell me what, Baba?” Khalid looked up between them before pulling away to frown and look at them. “You said I’m smart and a big boy, so I should know.”

Baba sighed softly, looking at Maman before looking back at him. “People won’t like you. Lots of people think you’re dangerous, and a danger to Almyra—”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone!” Khalid didn’t entirely know what Baba meant by any of that, but he knew enough about the world to know what dangerous meant, and he looked horrified at the idea that he could be like a cobra hidden in a blanket to his homeland. 

“I know, baba, I know.” Baba sighed softly before pulling Khalid back onto his lap. “But that’s what some people think. They think you’ll try to lead the Fódlans here to...to enslave everyone.”

“Enslave?”

Baba sighed again before glancing around the courtyard. “Enslaving is when someone says that you own a person, that they can’t be their own person, because you own them like you own a toy, or a tool.”

Khalid felt his lip tremble as he looked between Baba and Maman, before he broke into sobs. “I don’t wanna own anyone! I don’t wanna hurt anyone!” 

“I know, baby. I know.” Maman immediately scooped the sobbing Khalid into her lap, and he could feel her frown against his temple as she hugged him tight. “I told you. I told you he was too young to understand all of this. We never should have—”

“And wait until someone tries to assassinate him? At least he knows. We’ll have Nader begin to teach him how to fight, get him other tutors to ensure he can protect himself and learn as much as he can. It’s going to be fine. Promise.”

* * *

And he had started his work towards being the future king then. His parents had arranged lessons with Nader and other tutors and the more trusted generals, and he had been presented properly to the court as prince. For better or for worse, that quiet conversation when he was five led him through his twisted life to where he was standing now, twenty-three and going through the last test and ordeal before he’d be crowned King of Almyra. His entire life led through assassination attempts, and constant supervision, and then eventually a war, and Khalid still didn’t know if it was worth it or not, even if he knew he wouldn’t change a thing about his life.

He couldn’t fault his parents, though. At least he survived. And he’d survive this. He took a brief moment, looking back at the west where he had left his  _ ravaan  _ behind, and he looked back to the east, where the sun would rise in the morning. He’d return to his soul. He’d survive this. And then he’d be king. 

And perhaps he’d be able to get away with never hurting anyone again. 


	2. Chapter 2

Khalid had made a point to travel through as much of Almyra as he possibly could, or at least, his father had made a point of it for their family while he grew up. Still, Khalid hadn’t come across a place nearly as barren as this. His feet stumbled against the sandstone sharply protruding from the sheer cliff walls. While he knew that the deserts always hid more life than one would expect, the silence pressing against his ears seemed to tell him that he was entirely alone. Without even insects buzzing in his ears, or flies trying to get into his eyes, the absence of half his soul felt particularly present. 

He supposed the loneliness was a part of this journey. He knew of practices, both quietly performed in Fódlan and in other places across the wider world, where children were cut away from their  _ ravaans  _ in an attempt to ensure that they could be more pliable slaves, though he doubted how well it actually worked in practice. Many of the victims he had seen seemed lost, far too much like ghosts given physical form, to ever be able to work well, regardless of the few exceptions that the practitioners used to justify their actions. It hurt, though. That was something he had always heard from the ones that had been coherent enough to explain. 

While the reason for this ordeal he was going through was usually explained as a way for the king to become larger than life, able to spread their wings across the whole of Almyra to watch all the borders and all the people, he knew there were other reasons for it. One such additional reason was knowing the pain of being separated from his  _ ravaan _ , to know on some level the pain that severed pairs endured. Another way in which he could relate with everyone, be able to protect them. 

It was far from necessary, though. He could remember the pain of near-severing far too well. One of the many assassination attempts had simply been to cleave the bond between his  _ ravaan  _ and himself. Stretch it and then destroy it with a relic older than anyone could remember. 

* * *

Khalid shivered as he curled up in bed, Shirin wrapped around him with scaled wings hiding him as well as she could while ensuring they had as much contact as possible. It might be the height of summer, with weather so hot that even the insects didn’t want anything to do with it, but he couldn’t help but shiver as though he was in the far northern palace in the middle of winter. At least Shirin was close, and he could hold onto her small wyvern form, thankful that she could press entirely on his body like a heavy blanket. 

“Will he be fine? Can he recover from this?” 

His Baba’s voice sounded as though it came from far away, through fields and fields and corridors upon corridors, even though Shirin had assured him moments before that his Maman and Baba were in the room with him, along with Nader and the best court physician they employed. It was tempting to try and ask for his Baba to come closer, to press against his side like he used to when Khalid was much younger and far more prone to nightmares, but he couldn’t bring himself to that level of humiliation and weakness. He wasn’t a child anymore, after all. While he doubted that servants were around, he knew his room was open enough that they could peer in and watch him. He couldn’t let his weakness be seen at all. Not after what had happened. 

“He should recover, your majesty, I assure you.”

“But Shirin—”

“Their connection seems to be as strong as it ever has been. The diviners were quite confident in that.”

“But she’s still shifting forms.”

Khalid frowned, feeling Shirin shift and tighten around him, her form almost shimmering into another one before she stopped, forcing herself to settle as a wyvern. It wasn’t worth it to change in front of everyone, not when his Baba was already so concerned about him already. 

“Sometimes children in Fódlan continue to change at this age, my love. And with all of the pressure and everything..." He could hear his Maman sigh. She was worried, even if her words were attempting to reassure his father. Khalid closed his eyes tighter, even if they were already squeezed shut, and he turned over with a quiet groan as he pressed his forehead to Shirin’s. Hopefully that could help soothe the ache in the back of his skull, the feeling that his intestines had been pulled out through his belly button when the mercenaries had attempted to drag her away from him. Two different boats, their bond stretched almost fifty feet, forcing them into an agony they hadn’t thought possible in the absence of Alymran viper venom. 

The physician hummed softly, and Khalid and Shirin could feel a squeeze around her tail very briefly. “Her majesty is correct. We see it here as well. Occasionally, traumatic situations such as this can delay the process even further. Combine that with the sheer number of attempts on the young Prince’s life...I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes years before he and Shirin settle. Likely, on a subconscious level, having the flexibility of an unsettled  _ ravaan  _ allows them to feel safer in themselves, as uncommon as it would be.”

The room fell quiet for a while, beyond the soft whines of pain that Khalid couldn’t keep from slipping from his lips. He wanted to be quiet, he wanted to be strong for his Baba, but it was difficult. Everything hurt, deeper than his bones, deeper than when he had been poisoned the time before last and he had taken it upon himself to build a resistance to most of the poisons he and Nader knew. 

“Will he settle? Will they be able to?”

“Of course, your majesty.”

His Baba sighed, and Khalid could hear his heavy steps as he started to pace back and forth. “I was under as much scrutiny as he was. As many assassination attempts. I never faced something like this. Belqīs settled when I was 12. Shirin should have settled long ago.”

“Your majesty, please. You have to understand, Prince Khalid and Shirin have had far more assassination attempts than you did due to the difficulties in the succession of the throne and the origin of your queen.”

“That shouldn’t be enough!”

Khalid’s shivers turned into a wince as Shirin tightened her grip on him, biting the little braid he kept in his hair in order to keep him close. It wasn’t their fault Shirin hadn’t settled yet. She had nearly been there and they could feel themselves slowly spiraling into a shape that would be theirs for the rest of their lives, but then...then they had been ripped apart. They couldn’t risk settling now. Not when they were still in so much danger. Maybe if they renounced the throne, or they left Almyra and abandoned his family. Something. But here, with everything as it was, with the assassination attempts happening almost every month, even the ones his Baba didn’t know about...they couldn’t risk it. He didn’t like the idea of abandoning home, and so they couldn’t allow themselves to settle yet.

“I think you should leave, your majesty. The young prince needs his rest. We’ll speak more elsewhere.”

“Come, love. We’ll discuss this over tea, alright?”

At least his Maman could ground his Baba and relax him. Even if his Baba didn’t lose his temper often, Khalid couldn’t help but think that if he was better, if he wasn’t half-Fódlani, he wouldn’t be such a burden. Not on his Baba, not on Almyra, not on anyone. 

If only he could make the world a better place, a kinder place. Perhaps if he could get those in Almyra and those in Fódlan to look past their surface-level differences, to actually work to come together instead of constantly fighting, they’d be able to make the world a better place as a whole. Almyra could bring their science and technology to Fódlan. Fódlan could...well, he’d figure out what Fódlan could offer. He was sure they could offer something to the world in return. 

* * *

And what had Fódlan been able to offer to the world, in the end? Pain, and war, the horrible stories that he heard his entire childhood. He had been hurt, and exposed to dangers that had only been seen in legends, and had to spend five years locked in a horrible, useless, pointless war that killed far more people than it should have.

Khalid curled up under a rocky outcrop, the sun bearing down with the unforgiving noon-day heat. He needed a few moments in the shade before he drank all of his water without realizing it in the heat of the day. And perhaps some rest would allow him to think more reasonably about everything. The ache in the bond between him and Shirin, the agony that had settled into pain and a vague impression of deep betrayal, couldn’t help but remind him of the first time they had been this far apart, but he also couldn’t help but think about the bond he with the other Golden Deer he had abandoned to return to Almyra. 

He stood up and began walking at that thought. He couldn’t afford to linger on that line of thinking at all.

This was the only choice he had. The only choice he had to make the world a better place.


	3. Chapter 3

It was difficult to keep the slog up, with little to do other than walk. One foot in front of the other, trying to ignore the heat of the sun that found him even as Khalid tried to hide in the shadows and tried to ignore the pouch of water at his side until he absolutely needed it. The repetitive nature of the scenery and the pilgrimage meant that all he had to do was think. Step, think. Climb down a ledge, think some more.

That’s all he ever did, really. Think. Especially now.

He could have stayed in Almyra. Stayed here, not gotten too curious about Fódlan and the customs that his mother had run away from. He could have stayed, just as he could have left and abandoned Almyra entirely. But that wasn’t him. Never was. He had always been too curious for his own good, was still too curious. That’s what drove him to try and investigate that isolated country, and then to return and bring with him what he had learned of it.

The idea of Fódlan simply being an isolated country was a hilarious thought. Even before he had traveled there, it was clear that it wasn’t simply some patch of land that kept to itself. It regularly pushed at the natural borders of the mountains to the east, and regularly enslaved his people. It pushed to the north with Sreng, and it pushed to the islands in the west with Brigid. There was nothing isolated about that, no matter what the people of Fódlan thought.

Travelling there, despite the rocky past it had with his home and his people, had been the only choice. He wanted to try and improve things for everyone, and he knew that he had to start in Fódlan. If he began with Fódlan, helped them to open their borders, he could return home to outstretch a hand and pull Fódlan from its isolated past. He had known that since the beginning. The beginning of his plans, and his schemes, and...everything. 

* * *

“I want to go to Fódlan.”

His Baba spat the drink out, and his Maman stiffened as she stared over at him. They might be having a fine family dinner, without as many of Baba’s retainers, but that didn’t mean they were entirely alone. There were still the servants standing at the edge of the room, waiting to bring them the next course, or pull dishes away, and Khalid could see them looking between themselves, their  _ ravaans  _ shifting visibly back and forth. 

“You...why would you want to do that?”

“We need to stop the fighting at the border, Baba. I have the Riegan crest. That means I’m a valid heir for Duke Riegan.” He let that hang in the air before he turned towards his Maman. “Correct?”

She frowned as she looked at him, though she nodded after a moment before sipping at her tea. “That...that’s right, yes. Your grandfather has been asking about you, too, in the rare letters we exchange.”

Khalid nodded, biting his lip for a moment before he opened his mouth to continue. “I know. Which is why this would work.”

“And what happens to the throne, Khalid? What happens then? You have obligations here.”

Khalid frowned as he looked at his Baba, even if he knew that he shouldn’t push against that concern, valid as it was, but it also felt a bit like an insult that his Baba didn’t think that Khalid had thought of that. “Zal. He could assume the throne if it ends up that I can’t. But I’m not planning on leaving forever. I couldn’t do that.”

There was a tense silence, his Maman refusing to look at anyone while her soul stared at Baba, and he just stared back while his soul glared at Shirin. Shirin, for what it’s worth, glared back, her kestrel talons digging deep into Khalid’s shoulder and drawing blood. At least he knew better than to try and wince at the pain from that. 

“Zal would be an awful king. You know that.”

“And your grandfather would never allow you to return if you were to take up his dukedom.” 

Khalid looked between Baba and Maman before frowning down at his tea. A moment passed, and he picked the delicate cup to sip the warm liquid. He could keep himself calm. He wouldn’t get angry about this at all. They weren’t trusting him, though, and while he knew why they were voicing these concerns, he didn’t have to like it. “I’ll return. I’m staying long enough to establish diplomatic ties there, and then I’ll return. I’m not going to give Almyra up, Baba.”

“You will, though!”

“What?” Khalid looked up sharply at his Baba, confused by the comment. Did his Baba think that he wouldn’t return home? That some other country could capture his heart and convince him to run away like his mother had with her homeland?

His Baba sighed, standing up and brushing his coat off, his  _ ravaan  _ immediately slithering up his leg to settle at his shoulders. “Fódlan is a place of constant war and battles. Your crest can only activate in battle, and so the nobility there are worse than pirates. They will catch you, and they will keep you, and they will kill you, I’m sure of it.”

“I’m constantly under attack here!” Khalid couldn’t let the insult that simply leaving to Fódlan would kill him after he had survived over a decade of constant assassination attempts slide past his attention. His pride couldn’t allow such a thing. “I can keep myself safe. You know that. I’m good with a bow, and Nader’s taught me more. I’m good with poisons and keeping safe from them. I’ve not gotten truly injured from an assassination attempt over a year..." Khalid sighed as he looked at his Baba before glancing at his Maman. “You know Fódlan. Will they ever give up fighting if we try to propose a peace treaty? That they would ever accept peace from Almyra, instead of being the one to offer the olive branch first?”

His Maman looked between them, and the way her  _ ravaan  _ shifted his weight between his hooves made it clear that she didn’t know who to side with. “They won’t. If it’s the same Fódlan I know...they won’t. As Fódlan barely changed in the thousand years before I left, I doubt they’ll ever stop unless you approach it from the inside.”

“You’re on his side? You want him to go there? To face whatever wars have been raging while they’ve hidden from the world?”

“I’m not on anyone’s side.” His Maman glared at his Baba for a second before looking at Khalid. “My father isn’t necessarily a good man, but he will value you for your crest, if nothing else. There hasn’t been a large war in centuries, but bandits and smaller territorial disputes are frequent. You’ll be under intense scrutiny and if you tell anyone where you’re actually from, you will likely be killed. You’re sure you want to try this?”

“He’s going to die, Tiana. You know that as well as I do.”

“I know that our son is one of the brightest minds of the age. He’s survived sixteen years as the only son of the Almyran king, and he’s survived being nearly separated from his soul. If he dies from this, then I’m going to be very disappointed in him. But he won’t. You know our son. You know him. He knows when to cut his losses. You’ve never won a single chess game against him. If anyone could manage this, it’s him.”

Khalid watched as his Baba paced, before stopping, looking up at the sky above them. Rare storm clouds seemed to be gathering, and Khalid could already see as some servants were drawing the awning over the courtyard. What his Baba would decide, he didn’t know. He didn’t want to go behind his back, but he would if he had to. 

Going to Fódlan would serve several functions, all of which would work out in his favor. For one, he could turn Fódlan’s favor towards Almyra and ease the fighting in Fódlan’s Throat, at least to an extent. He’d be welcomed back to Almyra as a hero, if that was the case. If not, then he’d have valuable information to bring back to his generals. And, well, in the very worst-case scenario, he could remain in Fódlan, even if he’d hate that. He didn’t want to stay there. None of his Maman’s stories had made it seem as though it would be a good place, but by going there for a few years now, he could start to make everything better. Make Almyra better by not being forced into constantly fighting against Fódlan. Make Fódlan better by getting them to open their borders. 

He could do this. 

If anyone could, it was him. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, and Khalid's finally in Fódlan and meeting Lorenz now! I just wanna give a brief content warning of a superficial conversation of racism/colorism in this chapter, mostly in that Khalid remarks upon how he's so different from everyone in Fódlan with regards to culture and particularly the fact that he has darker skin that most people in Fódlan. It's not really my place as a white person to comment much more on that, so I mostly just focus on the culture shock side of things. Honestly, I really hope I don't overstep, but I think it's sorta important with talking about Khalid suddenly travelling from Almyra to Fódlan.  
> Hopefully everyone enjoys this chapter! Comments and kudos, as always, are more than welcome.

As much as Khalid liked to think that he could have done it alone, he did realize that he needed to have friends on his side. He still needed them now, but he also realized that Fódlan needed them more. He could manage and care for Almyra on his own terms and bring it into an age of peace with Fódlan.

He was still alone, though. 

Of course, as he continued walking through this desert, there was a good chance that the reason he was so lonely was because he was properly alone for the first time now. While he hadn’t had many friends for the majority of his life, he had Shirin, and now...alone.

Alone, with only his thoughts and the memories of the friends he had made while he lived in Fódlan. They had been strange and unusual, and he certainly hadn’t expected to make anything close to the friends that he had made while he was there, even if he was sure that he had hurt many of them by disappearing from the face of the continent. 

Lorenz would have expected his departure, though. Lorenz always knew he would be an inadequate leader of the Alliance, and he was right, though for entirely incorrect and ridiculous reasons. He was an excellent leader. It just so happened that Lorenz had been right regarding his unsuitability for becoming the new Duke from the moment he had met him. That was...quite the unusual predicament he had ended up in. One that still made him cringe in embarrassment when he thought about it.

* * *

“It is truly my honor to have all my honored guests here. I have an announcement that will shape the future of the Alliance here today. This is my grandson, Claude von Riegan. I claim him as my heir, the prodigal son returning to his proper place. I hope you all enjoy this ball in favor of the joyous occasion.”

Khalid kept an easy smile on his face through the uncomfortable affair, Shirin at his side in the adopted form that they had accepted as the most appropriate form for their time in Fódlan. Everyone expected the two of them to be settled at this point, and so they had been forced to find an adequate shape that they could remember and revert to, should they be seen. While part of them had wanted to truly lay on their suitability thick and take on a stag form, Shirin had spoken reason, and they decided upon an Almyran Karrah-kulak, a mid-sized feline with tufted black ears and a coat the color of the desert mountains. A little bit of home to keep close, but a cat that lived in the mountainous area of Fódlan’s Throat as well, so she wouldn’t be an immediate tell. 

That didn’t make it any less uncomfortable when he found out that the majority of people in the Leicester Alliance had herbivorous or omnivorous souls at their sides, rather than the carnivorous creatures he had grown so accustomed to back home in Almyra. Between the nervous glances at Shirin’s teeth and claws, and his darker skin, he couldn’t help but feel out of place. He felt even more out of place at this ridiculous party when he saw the ridiculous layers of silk and taffeta and excessive jewels spilling out from every outfit, with crystal glasses in every hand. Khalid couldn’t help as though he was being stifled with every passing smile and comment that he looked so unusual and so exotic, and that his grandfather must have paid a fortune to have him ransomed from some far-off band of pirates, or Almyran jackals, or any number of other ridiculous stories that could only come from sheltered, pompous idiots who didn’t know the difference between Estanboli polo and Meygoo polo. 

Not even his grandfather’s servants—slaves, honestly, he knew they weren’t paid nearly enough for what they put up with—knew the difference between the two dishes that were so simple and so comfortable. 

Khalid was in for a very, very long few years alone. 

“Khalid..."

Khalid looked up as he felt Shirin press against his side, seeing a tall gentleman with striking purple locks walking towards him, soul following close behind. They seemed an odd, though fitting pair. The man stood tall and lanky with a rather regrettable haircut, with his soul short and slim next to his side. The small deer seemed to be an odd creature, fitting for a young nobleman of the Leicester Alliance with their golden fur and the crown of antlers on their head, though Khalid couldn’t help but be taken by the fact that the small deer seemingly had fangs extending from their mouth. 

“Come to say hi?” Khalid grinned as he looked at the young man before extending his hand to him, trying not to be too put-off by the closed expression on the nobleman’s face. Khalid was fine. The other man wasn’t about to stab him immediately, even if he couldn’t be bothered to even hide his displeasure. People in Fódlan apparently didn’t stab people at parties like this, as boring as that made them, and what’s more, apparently they weren’t even allowed to carry weapons at these parties. 

The man didn’t say anything immediately, though he took Khalid’s hand, shaking it with all the poise that would be expected of a young nobleman. “I wanted to introduce myself to you. Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, and my better half, Adrian Gloucester. Our father is Count Gloucester, who was positioned to take over leadership from your grandfather before you appeared. Remarkably convenient, that. I doubt you have what it takes to lead the Leicester Alliance.”

Khalid blinked as he looked at the man—Lorenz, apparently—before forcing a light chuckle from his lips. “Rather forward, aren’t you? I’m sorry I wasn’t of age earlier to make it less convenient,” he said as he dropped Lorenz’s hand. He wouldn’t have expected Lorenz to be nearly so open with such a negative opinion about him, but at least he knew where Lorenz stood with him. “K—Claude von Riegan, though I’m sure you know that. And Sira, my better half.” He’d need to get better with their aliases. He was Claude and Shirin was Sira. He nearly spilled everything, and he knew that he was better than such a clumsy mistake as that. At least Lorenz didn’t seem to realize that anything was amiss.

“I’m sure it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m sure you’ll be busy learning how the Alliance works. It’s a shame I won’t be seeing you at the Officer’s Academy later this year.”

“What?” Khalid stared at Lorenz for a moment, trying to catch up to the odd leaps of logic in the conversation. Lorenz was tripping him up the entire conversation. When had he given any indication that he wasn’t going to go there? As far as he knew, his grandfather was requiring him to go to the Academy or else he wouldn’t be allowed to stand as his heir. What’s more, that was certainly part of why Khalid had come to Fódlan in the first place. “Of course I’m going. What sort of nobleman would I be if I didn’t go to a religious, military, finishing school?” He smirked faintly, trying to make it clear he was joking, but the annoyed huff from Adrian made it quite clear what they thought of him. 

Lorenz remained quiet a moment longer before he nodded. “Well. I’ll be pleased to see you there, then.”

Khalid nodded, glad that he was able to keep up the easy, teasing smile without thinking too hard, especially as Adrian snapped at Shirin when she tried to nose against him in a proper greeting. 

Apparently that wasn’t acceptable.

“And I hope you realize it’s rude to interact with someone’s  _ daemon  _ when you don’t know them.”

“Right. Sorry. Different customs where I’m from. I’ve never been in Derdriu before.” Khalid reached down to pick Shirin up easily, despite the fact that she was nearly half his size like this. “I’d hate to keep you from the rest of the party. I’ll see you at school, Lorenz.”

“Lord Riegan.” Lorenz inclined his head again, lingering there for a moment before turning and leaving.

Khalid took a shaking breath as Lorenz's words continued to ring in his head, rattling against the bone as he tried not to scream at Lorenz, at the party and his grandfather.

Prince. 

Prince Khalid kialmyrani mirza. 

* * *

Khalid still felt the sting of humiliation when he remembered that no one knew his real name in Fódlan. Lorenz didn’t know it, and he never gave Lorenz the proper introduction that he knew Lorenz would want. 

Lorenz...somehow, Khalid’s thoughts always traveled towards the other, especially with Shirin miles and miles away from him, and unable to swat him and tell him off for obsessing over the other nobleman. It truly was ridiculous, especially as he couldn’t afford the distraction. He still had at least another day of travel before his ordeal was over, and it wasn’t as though he’d be able to return to Lorenz’s side. 

It would be better to forget Lorenz. 

Khalid tried not to think about the ache in his chest at that thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Khalid continued to drag his feet over the sharp shards of rock, pulling his thoughts from where they wandered like ill-tempered sheep, or perhaps the Golden Deer household on free days when the Professor told them they were leaving to spend time with his father, away from the Monastery. 

The Deers were still the best part of his time in Fódlan. The only reason he bothered to stay there or deal with the subsequent war. Even Lorenz, as infuriating as he was for much of his life in Fódlan, made the near-seven years there pleasant enough. As much as Lorenz insisted upon their ridiculous rivalry, the other had taught him more than he would have thought possible. Things as simple as how to pour tea and learn what a person’s favorite tea, but also...things such as the difference in the conceptualization of souls. 

Who knew two countries could have seen their souls so differently?

* * *

“You need to learn how to serve and attend tea, Claude, this really is quite ridiculous. You’re honestly saying you don’t know how to brew a decent pot of Seiros tea?”

Khalid pinched his nose as he took a deep breath, thankful as he felt Shirin press against his legs. He knew he was more open with Lorenz than necessary, but whether or not Lorenz knew that he despised tea and didn’t know how to brew a proper pot didn’t really matter in the end. Flames, even Hubert didn’t know how to brew tea properly. 

“Yes, Lorenz. It’s one of many failings you see in me, I’m sure,” he said after a few moments before looking at Lorenz, hand dropping as he forced a bit of a smirk on his face. “Besides, I’ll be busy taking care of the Alliance. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of people to brew tea for me, if it’s so important.”

Lorenz looked suitably puffed and annoyed, like some chicken that tried to intimidate a farmer. “Making and preparing tea is an important aspect of diplomacy, Claude. Learning which teas impress individuals from other areas of Fódlan, knowing how to prepare them and show the other you care about them, it’s all very important to ensure that you don’t offend anyone. ”

Diplomacy this, diplomacy that. If the Alliance truly cared about diplomacy, they’d actually talk to people, rather than enslave and kill the Almyran people without even a messenger to warn them in advance. Khalid forced a light smile on his face, and a roll of his eyes. “I’m sure if it’s that important, I can have a servant prepare my tea for me. Or, even better, you could just prepare it.”

“Claude!”

“That is my name.” Khalid hated that name.

Lorenz rolled his eyes before standing up so that the now-empty pot of water could be set aside, where it wouldn’t get in the way, and Khalid watched carefully as Adrian stood up and followed after Lorenz, practically tripping over his heels. That was an odd thing about the two of them. They were pressed close, unusually so, even compared to Lysithea with Lucretio and Edelgard with Peternella. 

“Is tea truly that important?” Khalid asked as Lorenz returned to sit down, picking up one of the small tarts and nibbling at the edge of it. Lorenz, predictably, nodded as he collected a small rose-water pastry—one of the treats that Khalid also liked the most, even if he rarely allowed himself the indulgence.

“Of course it is.” Lorenz set the pastry down on the edge of the small saucer in front of him, and Khalid couldn’t help but notice the nuts that fell from the flaky pastry, and he forced his eyes away from it. The Alliance did rather love Almyran food, though they hated the culture it originated from and claimed their cooks had been the ones to devise the dishes. Lorenz was speaking again, and Khalid forced his attention back to the conversation. “—not merely a drink to be had between two people. It is a moment to evaluate them, determine their intentions, and it shows that you truly accept their hospitality. Eating food offered by an ally or potential rival shows that you trust them to abide by noble standards.”

“But you could do that with anything. Any sort of meal.” Khalid pointed the slim fork in his hand at Lorenz, punctuating his point before he took another small bite of the pastry in front of him. 

Lorenz sighed before shrugging. “I suppose, but food carries grander notions. A full meal implies that you’ve already decided upon an alliance. How do you not know this? Any proper noble would have been raised with this knowledge.”

The idea was absolutely laughable. “Any proper noble,” indeed. Apparently, even to Lorenz, the only proper nobility was the nobility in Fódlan. Never mind the intricate court structure of Almyra, the way in which gifts needed to be presented, that you needed to show that you were a skilled warrior with your soul able to fight at your side. The mere fact that their _ravaans_ were here at their sides, rather than waiting respectfully outside showed just how little anyone trusted each other in Fódlan. 

“I suppose I’m just not much of a noble, now am I? Proper scoundrel, me and Sira both.” Khalid reached down to Shirin, sinking his fingers into her fur as he mentioned her.

Lorenz pursed his lips for a moment before pouring the tea carefully between them. “Cream, sugar?”

“No thank you, to both,” Khalid replied easily, the attempt at his teasing, easy-going smirk fading for a moment as he glanced at Adrian, watching the way the _ravaan_ didn’t even seem to pay attention to their surroundings. Their souls stood practically on their feet, there were all of these intricate rituals to court friendships, and the idea of mere friendship didn’t seem to exist in Fódlan. They seemed to not trust anyone, and yet...they insisted upon acting like their _daemons_ didn’t exist at the same time. Khalid got odd looks every time he acknowledged another _ravaan_ , and apparently one would besmirch their honor if one _ravaan_ attacked the other during a duel or battle. Fódlan came filled with contradictions, and none that Khalid could understand.

“I hope you find the tea to your liking.”

Khalid blinked as he looked up at Lorenz, nodding for a moment before he sipped at it, still mostly lost in his thoughts, even though Lorenz’s words had brought him back to the present. “I...if you don’t mind, Lorenz...what did your parents teach you about our souls? Where they came from?”

Lorenz looked openly shocked at the question, and he glanced down at Adrian for a moment before setting his cup down and leaning against the table, as though this was some sort of scandalous secret. “Are you saying you don’t know the Church’s teachings?”

“I’m saying, I’m curious as to if your parents told you any stories. I don’t know. I didn’t grow up with your fancy Alliance nobility. Maybe you have different stories than we do.” Khalid forced an easy shrug, even if he immediately wanted to pull the question back and erase any memory of it. He hoped that Lorenz didn’t take it the wrong way, but as the young man started sipping at his tea once more, Khalid was somewhat confident that he wasn’t about to get tattled on to Rhea for not knowing the exact teachings of the Church on souls, regardless of how true or not true that was. 

Lorenz sighed, almost looking bored as though Khalid were a tutor asked the same question for the sixteenth time that day, even if it had been intended as conversation between two friends. “If you insist, I suppose I could tell you the story that I was raised with. I don’t understand why you would want to hear it, though.” 

“Just humor me, Lorenz. Please?” Khalid smiled, teasing him as he batted his eyelashes, exactly like one of the ladies Lorenz so enjoyed flirting with. His small smile turned into a grin as Lorenz blushed at the request.

“I—Claude!” Lorenz seemed entirely flustered, ignoring the way Shirin had moved to press up against Adrian’s side, purring up a storm against the slim deer _ravaan_ . It would have been hilarious if Khalid didn’t feel his stomach lurch strangely at the way in which Lorenz didn’t seem to react to the movement and didn’t even look at how Adrian rolled his eyes but leaned into Shirin in return. The entire disregard the people of Fódlan had for their _ravaans_ made Khalid vaguely sick with disgust. It left him wondering what had hurt the people of that land so much to make them keep their souls at arm’s length.

“Lorenz, please.”

Lorenz sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose before he nodded. “Of course. From the beginning, I suppose. The Goddess created all life, though she didn’t give us our _daemons_ when she first created us. She didn’t think to create them, and so people lived and grew and died without their souls next to them. However, when people began to die and travel to the Blue Star to reside with her, she realized that she had no idea who was devout, and who was wicked and deserved to burn in the Valley of Torment—”

“Ailell?”

“No, not literally. The Valley was named after the teachings, or something along those lines. I can’t exactly remember.” Lorenz rolled his eyes, and Khalid frowned for a moment as he grabbed a small sandwich before he lounged back.

“I’m just trying to get a picture of it.”

“Well pay attention. Knowing the teachings of the Church is necessary for any good noble, and especially for one that will soon lead the Alliance.”

Khalid rolled his eyes as he looked at Lorenz before eating his sandwich, motioning with his free hand for Lorenz to continue. He’d try to keep quiet, if only to get this over with sooner. His stomach churned at the idea of anyone not having their soul next to them through their life, even if he was desperately trying not to let that show, while Lorenz seemed to be somehow perfectly fine with such a notion.

“As I was saying, the Goddess didn’t know who to punish for their lifetime’s transgressions and who to bless. While she watches over us all from the Blue Star, that doesn’t mean she knows who is truly wicked, and who isn’t. That was, obviously, a problem, so she needed a way to determine that. To see into a person’s soul.

“The solution she devised was to send stardust to Fódlan. To create a partner to ourselves to be there to see our flaws and noble virtues, and then to return to the Blue Star ahead of us, to advocate for us and assist the Goddess in determining our judgement.” Lorenz finished with a shrug before he sipped some of his tea. He glanced over at Adrian and Shirin finally, seemingly just realizing how close they were. Lorenz shot a glare at Khalid, but Khalid barely acknowledged it. Shirin was curled against Adrian, of course she was. She was usually used to pressing up against other _daemons_ , and she could curl against the golden deer _daemon_ if she wanted to. Teasing Lornez, clearly.

Khalid, meanwhile, was sipping his tea and trying not to seem as concerned as he was. Did those in Fódlan truly believe that their _ravaans_ weren’t actually a part of their soul? That they were only there to tattle on them to the Goddess? “Just stardust, then? Not a part of yourself?”

Lorenz hummed softly before shrugging. “Stardust, yes, but our _daemons_ are the closest companions we have through our lives. Essentially a part of ourselves, even if the church doesn’t explicitly teach as such.” 

Horrifying. 

“That’s a beautiful thought,” Khalid murmured, forcing a ghost of a smile onto his face. He tapped the side of his leg for Shirin to come close, and the moment he felt her against his leg, he buried a hand in Shirin’s fur. He wanted her to be a snake, or something he could have close against his skin. Something other than the cat at his side everyone thought she was. 

“What did your parents teach you?”

Khalid hummed softly as he glanced up at Lorenz, and he shrugged after a few moments. “Basically that, I suppose. More flourishes on it. My father always loved to tell exciting stories about the world.”

Lorenz hummed, not sounding entirely convinced as he continued to eat the cake, and they steered the conversation towards safer waters. 

Khalid laid upon the tiled roof of the dormitory that night, Shirin wrapped around his arms in tight coils of a pitch-black snake he couldn’t remember the name of immediately, and they watched the stars in their eternal dances. Something about Lorenz’s story had shaken him deeply, whether it was the idea of why the Goddess had given them their partnered souls or the implication that there had been some individuals that hadn’t ever received their other half at all. He knew sitting up here was a risk, but he needed Shirin properly close against him as he reminded himself of the story that his father had taught him instead of the horrifying fairy tale that Lorenz conveyed to him.

Souls were given to them by the Goddess, yes, but not after generations when there had been people that had lived and died without their other half. It took less than a lifetime for humanity to gain their _ravaans_ . In the beginning, the God created a perfect garden of a world, empty beyond animals and plants. A perfect curio cabinet of beautiful things, but ultimately cold and unchanging. The Goddess didn’t like this, and thought there should be others that enjoy it. Therefore, she created the first humans, people to enjoy the world and share it with her and the God. However, the God had retaliated against the Goddess’ independence in creating humanity by creating wandering spirits or ghosts or something to destroy them. The Goddess realized that humans needed partners and protection, and so separated their souls into their body and their _ravaans_ . Or _daemons_ , if you wanted to use Fódlans’ words for them. Less than a lifetime apart. Certainly not generations. 

Protection, and companionship, and then eventually a way for humans to learn what it is to love another being so completely that they would sacrifice themselves when it became necessary. Even as the God’s spirits faded with time, humans kept their twin souls, tangible proof of how they were creatures of love, after all. 

They turned to stardust in death because humans no longer needed the protection and companionship they provided. They were stardust after death, and could join the spinning, spiraling dance of the cosmos forever, perfectly joined with their soul and able to perfectly join with whomever else they loved, without worry about anything that could hurt them.

* * *

Khalid had certainly seen enough _ravaans_ turn into dust before his eyes over the better part of the past decade. He had caused enough of them to turn to stardust himself. Nearly seven years of being terrified that one of his friends would crumble to corpse and stardust in front of him, or that he’d die and be lost from Shirin forever, even if he had some level of hope that they would find each other again, eventually. 

The stars were beautiful out here in the desert, far from the cities of Fódlan and Almyra, far from the lights and lanterns that occasionally tried to obscure the blanket of stars woven into the tapestry of the sky. While Khalid had been trying to travel mostly during the night, or during the cooler hours of the day, he had stopped here, staring up at the constellations. The stories of Fódlan and Almyra swirled in his head, a strange mixture that felt so much like himself. In some ways he felt more like himself than he ever had before, now that he had been steeped in his mother’s country after having lived so much of his whole life in his father’s. 

His eyes fell upon the Great Deer, the quartet of stars that he pointed out to Lorenz one night ages ago while teasing that it should have been a rose instead. He pulled his eyes away from the sky. He needed to keep walking. 

He stood up, brushing the dust off his clothes before returning to the path, keeping his eyes on the ground and not daring to look back up at the sky, unable to deal with another reminder of the person he had pushed away in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in the delayed chapter. I burnt myself out a bit, and so forced myself to take a complete and total break from any sort of writing or creating. As such, I hadn't been able to get back to this story until today. Hopefully I'll be getting more chapters published this week and next week. Thank you everyone for bearing with me. Hopefully you enjoy this chapter just as much as the last. Kudos and comments are always more than welcome!


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